I more or less believe that MBTI is for people who are “too scientific for astrology” but want some sort of guideline or mold in which to believe. I find psychology fascinating, but it is not my chosen field for a reason. However, for the record, I tested three times as INTJ. Fairly heavily on all four categories. (Although I think all three results are nonsense since it isn’t too difficult to manipulate the test.) I’m fairly skilled at feeling all the things without actually feeling the emotions from all the things. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but it is the best way to describe myself. I very much have a detached, outsider-looking-in-the-box sort of perspective with most things. Unfortunately, I have been called callous on more than one occasion due to this personality trait. I also have been called sensitive, so take that as you will.
I believe in empathy. I believe in compassion. I believe in responsibility. I believe in science. If I held any religious tenants, they would be those. Reading the news lately, and particularly yesterday, has started to make me lose hope. I’ve mentioned this before, but I describe myself as an eternally optimistic misanthrope. I believe in human beings’ capacities for sincere kindness, but I hold that we are failing miserably in doing so. As I slowly lose that little glimmer of hope which keeps me motivated, I can’t help but wonder if I we even are worth saving. It’s when I think of my students, of the next generation which hasn’t been responsible in creating this world which does not deserve them, that I find my strength to push forward.
I am of the opinion that those of us in the social sciences have a greater obligation than most humans not to harm and to view our careers as service. Yet, if the world is going to go up in flames, if we can’t share our ideas or make them accessible, what even are we accomplishing? These events make me more certain than ever before that we must remember to bring our services to people outside the academic community. We can’t hoard our researches and evaluations in journals in order to fuel our egos and our neoliberal exchanges of knowledge as a marketable good while disregarding the reasons why we entered the social sciences.
We have a responsibility. We have a duty. Do no harm. Serve.
I am in this field for a reason. I am in graduate school for a reason. It is time to set aside my feelings once more, to re-direct them into energy for study and research, and use my voice to make the voices of the marginalized no longer be excluded.